Family Healing and Reunification

Kerri was born in Marble Falls, Texas. Although she lived in this beautiful small town, her childhood was anything but idyllic. Her father lost custody of her at the age of 2, and she was sent to live with her mother, a woman struggling with a meth addiction. Soon after, her father took his own life. Kerri’s early years were tumultuous, and she was often neglected. 

As a young adult Kerri took her mother’s path and become involved with alcohol and drugs. This life left her vulnerable to trauma and violence. Beaux, her pride and joy, was born into these unsafe surroundings. Beaux’s father was physically abusive and violent with Kerri for years. She was not providing a safe home for Beaux to grow up and she knew it, so she got away to protect her son. 

However, she could not find a safe and stable living arrangement. This resulted in her first case with CPS. Kerri was lost as to how to navigate the child welfare system and although she got her son back temporarily, it did not last. She was soon arrested for intoxication and child endangerment. Beaux was placed in foster care. 

Kerri faced three years of probation or the offer to be placed in treatment to start rebuilding a life in recovery. Kerri made the choice of recovery. She chose Santa Maria to restore her life. 

Kerri participated in her first substance use and trauma treatment alone at Jacquelyn House. There she met Tommy Austin, our court liaison, who offered her assistance in navigating her case with the possibility of regaining custody. Kerri says, “Tommy said that I was someone who was smart, put together and all I needed to do was learn how to talk to those making the decisions and do all they asked to get my son back. He gave me hope and promised to work with me.” 

Tommy made sure Kerri was prepared to advocate for herself. She requested an additional stay at our Bonita House where Beaux could live with her under supervision. Thankfully, she was allowed temporary custody of her son. She began parenting Beaux, learning to be a good mom and to include recovery basics in their lives. For her next step, Kerri chose to live in Santa Maria’s recovery housing which provided continued support for the family’s journey through individualized case management. 

Tommy continued to guide her, now including Beaux in the counseling. Soon, Kerri was awarded full custody of Beaux. “Without Tommy there to show me how, that would have never happened,” says Kerri. “I would have given up long before, thinking that Beaux would be better off without me.” 

Says Kerri today, “After I addressed my trauma and addiction, a light flicked back on in my life. I can be silly with my son, enjoy life and have dreams.” 

RECOVERY ROOTS

Ashlynn knew that night it was time to go for help. Somehow, she made it home after a night of binging, but did not remember how. It had been days, weeks and months- actually 10 full years of drinking. Waking to a drink and drinking throughout the day had become her whole focus. She was missing her life. She was missing her daughter’s life.

Although she had been to treatment before it was just to appease her family. This time, Ashlynn made a decision to go for herself. She decided on Santa Maria’s Jacquelyn house while her daughter, Avery, was safe at home with her mother and aunt. Although Avery was a loved little girl, Ashlynn knew that regaining her own health would improve her daughter’s life as well. She was determined to prevail and learn to live in recovery.

Aslynn was assigned an amazing counselor who helped her understand things about her past, slowly and surely. She remembers, “At each session I cried and without being rushed, I was guided with grounding tools to recognize the hurt that was buried, way back. I quickly learned to allow those feelings to rise and then move forward. The other sessions and groups on recovery made a huge difference. Within 90 days, I had the tools to move to Paschall House and have Avery join me.”

Ashlynn continued her recovery work with guidance and support from her coach, Amelia Murphy. She attends meetings three times a week where she has found a small, tight-knit group of women in recovery. She has a sponsor and is completing her step work. Thankfully, Ashlynn was honest with her employer about her health struggles and they allowed her to take advantage of FMLA and then return to her job. Since returning, she has been promoted and has a bright career future.

The women living at Paschall and working to rebuild their lives embraced both Ashlynn and her daughter, Avery. The residence at Paschall is peer- led sober housing based on the Oxford House model. It allows the women who live there to build independence, constantly honing their recovery skills. Avery also received many services to assist with the transition and is flourishing. Today, she is a vibrant 7-year-old, attending second grade. Mother and daughter are close and loving, living through their first year of residence together since Ashlynn began her healing, bonding in new ways.

Says Ashlynn, “Santa Maria literally changed my life, but I had to be ready for those changes. It required that I be willing to do what was necessary for myself, including opening up and being interactive and honest about my life. If I didn’t speak up, those things that had held me in bondage to drink would have continued. I did everything in my power to participate, to change and to be a better me.”

She realizes that she must keep that mindset and continue to build her own “recovery capital.” With those choices, her life continues to fall into place. The tools and support she received at Santa Maria give her the structure and stability to venture out on her own.

SHE IS THE FACE OF RECOVHERY.

 LaNisha’s story starts with trauma. When she was just two years old, her father was murdered; later her mother whom for years suffered from addiction to substances was incarcerated. Once moved to live with her grandparents and younger sibling, she was again faced with continued violence, drug abuse, neglect, and gambling on her grandparents’ side, followed by repeatedly being molested by a family member. Living in such an unsafe environment caused LaNisha’s spirit to sink and feel despair.

LaNisha grew up fast and learned to escape the home whenever possible to avoid chaos and when she could not, she assumed a “caretaker role” in order to protect her little brother.

At school, she became the “class clown” and started to hang out with the “cool kids.” She began to cultivate a life on the streets with much older kids that led her to destructive behaviors. At age 12, she began driving to the grocery and liquor stores for her grandparents. At age 13, she got a job to have some money to escape. Without parental supervision LaNisha started to use marijuana when she was 14 and found she liked how it made her feel.

Every now and then, there were some glimmers of hope, rays of promise. She became a devoted percussionist in the school marching band, symphony and jazz ensemble. In addition, she played a skilled game of basketball on the school team. Being there after school meant she did not have to face what was going on at home. But that all ended when she could no longer maintain the physical demands required as a member of her school basketball team without coughing, so she gave up her basketball and shrugged it off.

Then, her mother was released from prison and did not return home. “All I could think was, why did mom not come for me and my brother? I was so angry with her. The pain was unbearable. Eventually, mom got married and moved to another town, which then added another level of frustration and feelings of abandonment.”

Remarkably, through it all, she graduated high school and applied for college. She was accepted by Texas Southern University. With no guidance, she headed to Houston. It felt like freedom and party time again. She began to try the full array of street drugs and within six months her use of drugs was at full throttle. She quickly spiraled downhill, began lying to her family and asking for money beyond her student loans to support her new habits.

In time, she moved in with eight friends, focused only on getting money, by any means necessary, to fuel her addiction. They were quickly evicted. LaNisha says, “Then it was beyond manageability. I started committing crimes and selling drugs to eat. All my focus was on feeding my drug habit. The next seven years, my addiction took over and destroyed my life.”

In 2009, her grandmother passed away and she was once again in such a haze that it was hard to find the compassion for the one person who had provided a place for her to live. She felt alone and defeated. She spiraled into a deep depression with thoughts of suicide and psychosis brought on by heavy drug use.

During this time, LaNisha was unaware that her mother had been participating in a 12-step recovery program. Subconsciously, her mother was paving the way for her daughter to follow her path. After realizing the deep trouble that her daughter was in, her mother stepped in and arranged for a mental health assessment to be performed for LaNisha.

The recommendation was traditional rehab. She knew that LaNisha would need more than just 60 days of treatment. While attending a rally, her mother heard Amelia Murphy, Director of Recovery Support Services at SMH, speak on the importance and benefits of building a recovery community. She knew she wanted that for her daughter, so they sought help and waited for a bed to become available. Santa Maria was exactly where LaNisha needed to be.

Comforted and welcomed at Santa Maria, LaNisha was hopeful. She entered feeling afraid but with a new-found feeling of optimism and an even stronger feeling of relief. There was no limitation of what she was willing to try. Without this help, only death loomed before her.

She quickly began to feel a sense of integrity, accomplishment, and healing. She assembled her “village” that included her counselor, her sponsor, her coach, her director, her therapist, and others from the SMH staff. “The old saying, it takes a village, was true for me, and each individual had something I wanted. I learned to uncover, discover and recover.”

Soon LaNisha moved into transitional housing and went back to college. Here she felt inspired to do more, and with much encouragement from recovery coaches, LaNisha moved towards becoming a Peer Recovery Coach where she could now pave a way for others, as her mom did for her.

As LaNisha transformed and found she was now a woman of her word with much love to offer, she knew what she had to do. She understood she had a calling to serve as a coach to the many women at SMH who were going through the very thing that brought her darkness into light. LaNisha knew she could be funny, charismatic, motivating and most importantly felt confident as a contributing woman to society. She learned to steer clear of people who were not determined to change destructive patterns and instead surrounded herself with likeminded influencers. She recalls, “Treatment in itself could be a stagnant stale process, but my peer SMH coaches included love, encouragement, and support groups to make this the formula for the success of this program. The women and staff at SMH are amazing and I am forever grateful to journey with them.”

Upon reflection, she believes the turning point was a profound lesson on boundaries and establishing her own identity. “I found a new outlook on life and shaped my own path to recovery.”

Today, LaNisha continues to serve and lead as a coach at Jacquelyn House. Her testimony serves as an inspiration for all women to RISE UP.