Meet Joni Jobeths, 27 years old, a mother of three children who is now in recovery. She tells us how she has greatly benefited from participating in the MOMMIES Pregnant and Postpartum Intervention Program. Joni says she is sharing her story, “not because there is a lot of good in my past, but as a way to help others who can learn from my struggles.”

She came to the MOMMIES Program 8 months ago when she was 18 weeks pregnant and with a heavy heart. She had been feeling scared, guilty, shameful and worried to say the least. She has a history of depression and began self-medicating at an early age, including using opiates. Her battle with addiction to opiates goes back for 10 years.

“Before finding about Santa Maria, I contacted many other different places and nobody would take me because I was pregnant… it was very discouraging but I was determined to get help and get clean,” says Joni.

Joni was linked to a medication assisted treatment (MAT) provider and referred to Santa Maria for concurrent residential treatment, where she successfully completed 120 days of residential services. “Without Santa Maria, the PPI Program, and without this amazing group of people, I could not have been able to accomplish what I have done. I’ve gone to other detox programs in the past but they didn’t work for me” she continued.

Joni’s problems with addiction were lodged deep inside her. The traumas left from her depression, self-mutilation and being bullied at school needed to be addressed. “I didn’t really understand those traumas until I came to Santa Maria. Here, with the help of my counselors, coaches, peers and my sponsor, I was able to take the time to reflect about my self and learn everything I know today…. I learned so much about myself, about my addiction. I learned the coping mechanisms; I learned to recognize my triggers and what to do about them. Now I have the knowledge, the tools and I have a team of people that support me, motivate me and inspire me… It means the world to know that I count on them for anything and everything” she beamed.

While feeding her baby, Joni continues, “Thanks to the MOMMIES Program from Santa Maria, I was blessed to have my daughter born in perfect condition, she was full term, she weighted almost 8 pounds. She is 8 weeks old now and is a happy and healthy baby. I’m trying my hardest, I still attend outpatient meetings, I’m working on my 12 steps and on my recovery every single day. It’s not easy but I’m doing the best I can, just taking it one day at a time.”

Joni knows she is one of the lucky ones to have overcome her struggles. Just in the past four months, seven of her friends back home have passed away from overdose. “It is shocking and sad” she mumbles and continues to explain, “So, I want others to know that change is possible. I hope others realize with my story that addiction is a disease, it’s not a choice and with the support of programs like this one, we are able to educate and advocate for recovery. Often people don’t want to get help because they are afraid of what others will think about their addiction.”

Joni’s heart is filled with hope now… She is about to complete her GED and is confident she will continue her education at a community college in the fall. “I want to go to school, I know that will open a door to a big start. I want to make my family proud… Now just telling my story I look back and I realized how far I’ve come, and this actually makes me feel proud of myself, and this is a good feeling!” she exclaimed.

At a very young age Sonja found herself drinking alcohol as a way to suppress the trauma she had gone through in her childhood. Later on she found in cocaine the consolation she needed when life just simply wasn’t going her way.

She had a tough childhood. Her dad passed away when she was 6 years old. She grew up watching her mother and grandmother suffer from alcoholism. Her mom passed away at the age of 44 from cirrhosis of the liver. Two of her uncles also died of the same disease. “It runs in my family”, she said. “So I knew I had to do something different with my life.”

As a result of her addiction, she ran into problems with the law and was charged with both assault and possession of narcotics, resulting in 2 years of probation. During this time, Sonja realized that in order to put her life in order and break from her family’s history, she had to be honest with herself and surrender – so she asked for help.

“I was so nervous to go to jail; I didn’t know what to expect. It was hard, but I just knew I had to do it”. Her family was supportive, and they knew Sonja was determined; she wanted to do it for herself but also for her 10 year old daughter who is living with her grandmother while she seeks treatment.

After a month and a half at the Harris County Jail, Sonja was transferred to Santa Maria Hostel where she was admitted into residential treatment and was introduced to the Women’s Access Project Houston (WAPH). She completed 3 months of the WAPH Program while in residential treatment, followed by 4 months as outpatient. While still in treatment she suffered the loss of 2 family members: her uncle and cousin, both deaths within a week of each other. These unfortunate events lead Sonja to a relapse. “Luckily I had the best team of counselors and coaches who took me under their wings from day one. They know that things can happen and are here not to judge but to help me in my recovery.”

This episode of relapse reminded Sonja to stay humble, to work on sobriety and recovery every single day. “In order to deal with addiction I have to deal with my trauma and my emotions. I had to start by forgiving my mother, my grandmother and especially myself.”

“I have a lot of ‘wow’ moments, where I am able to recognize the reason behind my actions and that gives me so much confidence in myself… I don’t regret anything that has happened because thanks to my past I am who I am today. Recovery has made me a better person.”

“I’m forever grateful to SMH for the role it has played in my life. It has been a life changing experience. They change lives for real, they changed mine.”
Now Sonja is part of the Transitional Living program (HUD) at SMH, which she calls her “safe heaven”. She now has a full time job, studies Business Administration at South University, serves as a member of the Peer Advisory Council of SMH and has big dreams for herself.

“Some times it’s overwhelming but I just feel determined. I prioritize and I get it done. I find motivation when I look back at how far I’ve come and how much I’ve grown as a person. I’m putting in the work now and the sky is the limit”.

SMH and her Recovery Support Team made such an impact in Sonja’s life that she wants to advocate for recovery as a way to give back. “I turned my life around and I’m making the difference in my family… because I’m doing things differently. Now I want to make the difference in someone else’s life too”.

Messages by Santa Maria Alumni

I want to thank my supporters and superheroes in my recovery including my sponsor, and loving boyfriend, who have been backing up my each and every positive stage of progression.

My largest of appreciation is to God’s amazing mercy and grace that has covered my life. Jonah said “But you, Lord my God, brought my life up from the pit.” And the Lord has said “I will heal your waywardness and love you freely, for my anger has turned away from you.” Jonah’s pit was in the belly of a whale, while mine was found in a life of spiritually stunted growth. A life in which I constantly looked into soulless eyes around me and together were sold once again to a chemical fix, instead of God’s warm embrace and that of those who desperately wanted to save me. It has taken a lot of forgiveness of my past, and accepting the lessons has become a means for persevering. Not all lessons in my life were negative consequences, once I realized that God’s will for me would never be to harm me, but to make me prosperous. One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned since being at Santa Maria was that just because I’d finally decided to recover, didn’t mean everyone would trust my decision to do so. My parents aren’t present, but I know today they did the best they could, or knew. At some point they had to choose their own lives, or the unmanageability of mine. “The Lord says “I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you” and Psalms 27:10 says “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. His love for me far exceeds that of any love on Earth, and through his love I am able to love those who I must at a distance. Bill W once said “we will want the good that is in us all, even in the worst of us, to flower and grow.”

I never want another human being to know the pain and suffering of addiction and those it effects. But the hope that I’ve found I want all to have. I am at peace today and as I indulge in the serene aspects of my new living, I believe in me. I believe though I always can’t He can, and I let Him. Despite the tornado I was in the eye of, one so many know too well. “You Lord, are our father, we are the clay, you are the potter. We are all the work of you hand.” The works of far exceeded the destruction of mine time and time again, and He has made no mistake in His creation. Thank you Santa Maria Jacquelyn staff for your patience, tolerance and understanding – the code of recovery.

“Then he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace” (Luke 8:48)

-Ashley

 

Hi my name is Chelsey and I am a woman in long term recovery and what that means to me is that I have not found it necessary to use any drugs since September 7 of 2016. Without the help from staff in the Mirrors program and the counseling they’ve provided for me I wouldn’t have made it this far without the use of drugs. My recovery coach and family coach have made a big impact in my life. Keeping me on track, how not to isolate myself from others and family members. Mirrors staff have given me patience with open arms (Big Hearts) always willing to help, taking the time to talk and listen to whatever it may be. Also a big impact on reuniting with family and staying very strong in my recovery.

These women are here to really support and help to their best and I really love and appreciate it. Y’all have made me very comfortable to talk and let go a lot of things that were weighing on me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m on a never-ending journey called recovery, I’m clean and sober, and I’m doing it just for me.

-Chelsey

 

Recovery is a true passion and mission in my life. I am a powerful advocate for recovery and for recovering birth mothers. Santa Maria planted a seed in me and taught me how to live without using drugs or alcohol. I am extremely thankful for the knowledge and information given to me that has equipped me with a recovery tool belt to use whenever addiction wants to fight it’s hardest! I am a member of PAC and continue to share my story and help others who come behind me at Santa Maria. I left Santa Maria in July of 2016 and I am now a productive woman in recovery who strives for my full potential daily. I am a woman of long term recovery and what that means to me is I have not felt it necessary to drink, drug, use any mind altering substances, or commit any crimes since January 29, 2016. I truly give all my thanks to God and Santa Maria. I am truly blessed! Thank you,

-Jessica Y

 

Before I found recovery I had come to a place in my life where I felt not just broken, but shattered. As I began to develop and grow in my recovery I was able to put the pieces back together and I began to come alive again through the hope and encouragement I was given by others. I was able to find my purpose and to really live a happy and self-fulfilled life. Thank you Santa Maria.

-Traci M

 

Santa Maria has helped me in many aspects of my life. I’ve learned how to live a healthy life without drugs. Santa Maria has helped me to believe in myself and others. I’ve also learned how to have healthy boundaries. I have learned to love myself again.

– Stephanie B

 

Santa Maria is more than a place for recovery. I have learned a great deal on how to cope, get support, and work legally for my life. My recovery coaches who help me understand my addition along with my counselor continue to inspire me. I love the Peer Advisory Council and my family is getting stable by making better choices today!

How many times have I reviewed my relapse prevention materials to keep me on task. I have finally landed a home support group with my Sponsor Francis and we are going to sober events together. I am completing probation in the next few months and this experience has been helpful to keep discipline with my behaviors. Overall, my probation officer will join me on my birthday night celebration, which is more than amazing.

Santa Maria gave me a life filled with HOPE… Thanks to God and everyone who loved me until I could love myself.

-Mary Beth

 

Thanks to my Recovery I am now living a life beyond my wildest dreams! I had no idea that people felt like this. For the first time in my life I know what peace and joy feel like. I have purpose and meaning in my life and I am usefully whole. I am a taxpaying, volunteering asset to my community. Best of all I once again am a mother. Thank you Santa Maria.

– Sharon H

 

Every day is a winding road, but to each there is a destination. Choosing whether to reach it or to detour, becomes the common struggle. To each day there is a lesson as well as to each success and each mistake. Seeking God’s lessons instead of looking for what we think should have happened can be difficult but the parallel of light and darkness are like oil and water. Change who I am, all that I’ve thought I’ve consisted of. Rediscovering God’s purpose for me, not based on selfish will. Trusting the unknown, and departing from ol’ reliable but walking a narrow path beats lying in a ditch. The embrace of God far exceeds the grip of death around my neck. Angel whispers in my ear saying you can do it, instead of the voice in my head, the disease, saying I can’t. I am changing, one day at a time, one second and not too much more. Forward not backward with full resilience. This is my change.

-Ashley L

 

Santa Maria Hostel has given me the opportunity to make a better life not only for my children, but also for myself. Being at Santa Maria taught me responsibility, structure, boundaries, as well as how to love myself again. I also learned how to be a better parent, a better person, and that it is possible to enjoy life being sober. Sincerely,

-Tierica W

 

Amber’s new tattoo – the Santa Maria logo.

“I call it my recovery tattoo; you see nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Representing my recovery, how it happened, where it happened, and why it happened. God is amazing because I love my life today and I love me!” ~ Amber

The first thing you notice when you meet Amber is that she is a confident and self-aware woman. But she hasn’t always been this way. Like so many other women here at Santa Maria, Amber has had a troubled past and turned to drugs and alcohol to cope and create some sort of comfort. It all started for Amber at the young age of 15 when she first started using marijuana which quickly escalated to cocaine, meth, ecstasy, and other substances by the time she turned 16. Amber stated, “I was using to escape my feelings and drugs were the only thing to make it better.” Although she didn’t realize it at the time, she had an addiction.   But it didn’t stop there. Her addiction escalated and she soon began selling drugs which offered her a lifestyle of status, money, drugs, and possessions. Amber recalls of her earlier times, “I was in the game and hustling while using daily and couldn’t stay sober.”

Amber became pregnant and delivered her baby 3 weeks early which prompted tests that revealed her past drug use bringing about her first experience with Children Protective Services (CPS). Amber went to a rehab facility in Austin and tried to work the program but soon found herself relapsing not only on using but dealing drugs as well. Amber hit “rock bottom” when she was arrested for Xanax with her baby in the car. Amber reflects, “At that exact point I knew that I had hit bottom. I was filled with guilt and shame and now realize that I needed that experience to show me that I was not the person I wanted to be.” Amber’s infant son was placed in the care of a relative by CPS and Amber had to make a lifestyle change for the sake of her baby. Amber stated, “I remember telling myself that enough was enough and I didn’t know who I was but I knew that I loved my son and had to work on my issues and most importantly, be honest with myself.”

With her son in the care of a relative, Amber came to Santa Maria to get help. She remembers making the tough decision to leave her son. “I had the option of bringing my son to treatment with me at Santa Maria but I knew in my heart that I couldn’t be a mom until I fixed myself first. Looking back on it, the sacrifice was difficult but for me it was the right choice.” At Santa Maria Amber thrived and learned a lot about herself and her past. She realized that she had underlying abandonment and rejection issues that stem from an alcoholic father and distant mother that lead her to the drug lifestyle. Amber now has the tools and skills to cope with her addiction. While Amber’s path to recovery will continue for her lifetime, you can see that she now has the confidence, drive, and determination to be not only the person she always wanted to be but a mother to her son. We are happy to report that Amber has a great job now in a supervisory capacity while she actively works her recovery.   And the best news of all, Amber is getting her son back this month.   When asked how Santa Maria has helped her: Amber simply stated, “Recovery is my new life now.”

Sarah-Chastity’s story…in her own words  

I AM ONE YEAR CLEAN AND SOBER. On this day, January 17th, last year, I made a decision that would forever change my life, I checked myself into a 90 day drug treatment facility named Santa Maria Hostel. Let me start off by saying that I had hit my rock bottom and made the conscious decision to surrender and admit that I was powerless over my addiction to prescription pain and muscle relaxant medications. I didn’t know what I was doing but I do know I was so tired of chasing “that high” at high” and most of all I was so fed up with letting my children down everytime..all the accidental overdoses, never having money, no relationship with my sons, legal trouble…I was DONE! This was the hardest yet best thing I’ve ever had to do. I walked into Santa Maria 6 1/2 months pregnant not knowing if I would even be taking my baby home with me from the hospital or if I would have to give him to his daddy but I do know that all I wanted was some help to change my life. If anyone knows me then they should know that I like to be in control and lets just say I had authority figures that I had to listen to and a schedule I had to follow. ..After the 1st week of getting out of my “purple scrubs” I was determined to FINALLY complete something that I started. I had A LOT of days and nights I cried myself to sleep because I missed my children but told myself that if I didn’t get treatment that I wouldn’t be alive to even see my children. I had the best and most strong group of women surrounding me. I learned so much and finally had forgiven myself. ..fb what I’m trying to say is yes there is hope and yes you can overcome ANY addiction even when it feels unreachable ALL you have to do is decide that you want it bad enough! I’m a living testimony everybody because let me tell you…I was as bad as they come! I want to thank ALL the ladies that walked my journey with me, ALL the women that gave me wisdom, and ALL my fb family and friends that stuck by my side…so thank you! To my recovery coaches Tracy Dudley and Lanisha Jiles, thank you for ALWAYS listening to me and when I was down you both picked me up! As I also celebrate 1 YEAR CLEAN AND SOBER TODAY I’M BLESSED BEYOND WORDS! I thank God every single day and I’m so grateful and in gratitude of all that he has given me! God bless everyone!and most of all I was so fed up with letting my children down every time. All the accidental overdoses, never having money, no relationship with my sons, legal trouble…I was DONE! This was the hardest yet best thing I’ve ever had to do. I walked into Santa Maria 6 1/2 months pregnant not knowing if I would even be taking my baby home with me from the hospital or if I would have to give him to his daddy but I do know that all I wanted was some help to change my life. If anyone knows me then they should know that I like to be in control and let’s just say I had authority figures that I had to listen to and a schedule I had to follow. After the 1st week of getting out of my “purple scrubs” I was determined to FINALLY complete something that I started. I had A LOT of days and nights I cried myself to sleep because I missed my children but told myself that if I didn’t get treatment that I wouldn’t be alive to even see my children. I had the best and most strong group of women surrounding me. I learned so much and finally had forgiven myself. What I’m trying to say is yes there is hope and yes you can overcome ANY addiction even when it feels unreachable ALL you have to do is decide that you want it bad enough! I’m a living testimony everybody because let me tell you…I was as bad as they come! I want to thank ALL the ladies that walked my journey with me, ALL the women that gave me wisdom and ALL family and friends that stuck by my side…so thank you! To my recovery coaches, Tracy Dudley and LaNisha Jiles, thank you for ALWAYS listening to me and when I was down you both picked me up! As I also celebrate 1 YEAR CLEAN AND SOBER TODAY I’M BLESSED BEYOND WORDS! I thank God every single day and I’m so grateful and in gratitude of all that he has given me! God bless everyone!

A person is not born a champion – they are made through hard work, dedication and a commitment. Many, like Santa Maria Recovery Coach Michele, have had to overcome many trials and hardships to earn it.

Michele’s story, like so many here at Santa Maria, begins with serving a lengthy prison term on a felony conviction after loosing the battle with drugs and alcohol. Once released from prison Michele was ready to start her life but quickly fell victim to crack cocaine and her “old ways.” She soon found herself pregnant, and upon delivery of the baby, Children Protection Services (CPS) was called in to remove her child due to the drug exposure. Before the child was taken from Michele, she had a moment to hold her baby and at that second, Michele told herself that it was time for a change.

Michele was admitted to Santa Maria for treatment and recovery and will be the first one to say that it was a difficult situation. “I hated Santa Maria at first. There were too many rules to follow and I found it hard to deal with.” Michele wasn’t able to complete her treatment the first time around but was convinced by her husband (then boyfriend) to return to Santa Maria and try again. After returning, Michele soon realized that people cared about her and that Santa Maria was there to help. Michele commented, “I have a lot of respect for Santa Maria. They took me back and showed me how much they cared.” Soon Michele was on her path to recovery and turning her life around and became known as the “super star client.” After treatment, Michele got involved helping others by volunteering for Santa Maria and championing the cause of substance abuse treatment and recovery.

Fast forward several years later, Michele is now on staff at Santa Maria as a Recovery Coach offering her real-life experiences and thoughts to those going through what she did years ago. She has become an outspoken advocate for recovery and provides life-changing coaching to the clients of Santa Maria. Michele stated that, “I really love being a recovery coach and offering a team-centered whole health approach to the ladies. I am their coach, their cheerleader and their advocate.”   Additionally, Michele serves as a Parent Advocate volunteer for CPS, providing first-hand knowledge of how to best reunite mother and child(ren).

Michele is not done yet. She has recently received her Mental Health Peer Specialist Certificate (Recovery Coach) and is currently enrolled in college to obtain her Associates degree. She plans to pursue a Masters in Social Work specializing in trauma and youth. Michele is so grateful to her family especially her children and husband who never gave up on her and were by her side every step of the way.   Michele, we are so proud of you. Thank you for being a Champion for the recovery cause!